Global leader in enterprise time-wasting solutions.
At The Q Company, we lead the global market in AI-optimized inefficiency. Our patented roadblocks integrate effortlessly into your existing workflows, maximizing customer frustration at unprecedented scale.
A curated portfolio of the inefficiencies our AI has learned to replicate at scale, ready to deploy across your customers' journey.
Trained on your help docs, unable to read them. Loops politely through three confidently wrong answers before asking if there's anything else it can help with.
Fifteen seconds of video you did not request, cannot skip, and will not remember. The "Skip" button appears exactly one second after the ad has already ended.
Buried three menus deep, past a satisfaction survey, behind a "wait — before you go" retention offer. Internally, we call it our highest-performing feature.
Thirty synchronous minutes, one calendar invite, zero decisions. Comes standard with "let's take this offline," which it never is.
Required before you can open the app you already had open. Changelog: "bug fixes and performance improvements." No further detail will be provided, ever.
Real words from real clients, deployed against real customers.
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Like Snake, except it's a snail. It moves exactly as fast as you'd expect.
Arrow keys or WASD also work. It will not get faster. That is the point.
Deep insights into the art of accomplishing nothing, updated whenever we get around to it.
Four time-wasting methods, field-tested and endorsed by our least productive employees.
We're always looking for people who understand the value of taking their time. Explore our open roles below.
Ready to waste your clients' time at enterprise scale? Send us a message and we'll respond in the fullness of time. Possibly yours.
A permanent record of time you'll never recover. One quick form.
is hereby recognised as a Certified Time-Waster, First Class, for outstanding commitment to accomplishing nothing.